K(NO)w ur LIMITS – Part 2

 Today’s jog had several purposes & the following were the conclusions drawn:

1. I wanted to check the authenticity of the GPS software I had installed on my phone. It worked perfect except for the max speed achieved - I’m sure it’s not humanly possible to reach 31.5 kmph on two legs unless it is a 100m sprint.
2. I wanted to check if the career best run I had claimed in my previous blog was correct. I was wrong by a whole 10%. The other day I had run only 9 km (I checked when I crossed the landmark I had touched the other day). So this time, time armed with suitable gadgets, I made sure I completed the 10 km (10.12 km to be precise as per GPS).
3. I also concluded that I can do much more on the road than on the treadmill. My best on the treadmill has been 3.5 km at in 30 min at an average speed of 6.5 kmph. Today I did 10.12 km in 66 min at an average speed of 9.1 kmph! Of course, I took a 5 min break in between to avoid being bitten by stray dogs, who suddenly found me attractive & started running behind me.
4. I deduced that GPS can drain you BlackBerry battery by 25% in one hour.
5. I realized I’ve won the battle of mind over body: throughout today’s run, none of my muscles threated to give up. Of course there was a slight chest pain which I suppressed with a 2 min rest & deep breathing. And yes, I had skipped dinner last night (I do that whenever possible, but not always successful. I’m yet to win the battle of mind over tongue – the damn thing just loses it when it comes in the vicinity of anything delicious)

No, now is not the time for rest. There is a basin full of utensils to be washed & the hose has to be mopped. All this before my kid wakes up. Cos after that I’m all hers – painting, dancing, playing, feeding… More so today as my darling wife is down with fever. I think that implies I also have to try my luck at cooking.

The engineer in you

One of the many definitions of engineer in Webster’s, & the most appropriate one according to me, is a person who is trained or skilled in technicalities of some field, not usually considered to fall within the scope of engineering and who is engaged in using such training or skill in the solution of technical problems.

Most of the world believes that an engineer is someone who has crawled four years through thick books full of numbers, symbols & equations to get that single sheet of paper with the words Bachelor of Technology printed on it. They may not be wrong altogether. What with the way we went through night-outs, memory maps, crisp notes prepared by the front bencher with the sole intention of gaining higher marks in the exams… No, we too were not totally wrong. The first criteria laid by any company visiting the campus fishing for talent, was a cut-off mark or grade.  With the whole life ahead of us waiting to be treaded upon, what else would we think about than what mode of transport we chose to ride life on. Of course, we had already learnt the hard way that the simplest way to win a girl-friend was to flaunt a bike, flashier the better. Of course times have changed, but the golden rule remains – maybe the bike has to be swapped with swanky car these days.

The point I wanted to make is how many of us, engineers or otherwise, actually develops this habit of using skill to solve a problem? Yes, these days all services are just a phone call – be it a mechanic, plumber, electrician, even a masseur. But there is a satisfaction in doing things yourself; apart from building independence & self-confidence, there are other tangible benefits of saving time & money.

For example, you don’t need mechanic to change a flat tyre. I have heard people say “I did not know where the jack was kept in the car”. Most electrical problems on a car are related to fuses. So it helps raising the hood, opening the fuse box & checking for any sign of fusing rather than waiting eternally for the mechanic to show up. After a recent incident of engine overheating, I keep a set of fuses of different amperages in my car, ready to face any eventualities.

You have now gained enough experience to conclude that a lot of problems on your computer or cell-phone can be rectified by a simple restart or removing the battery. Similarly, most of the times, the medicine for a computer or any electronic gadget acting funny can be googled. 

Most of you would have resorted to a plumber for any problems with your shower, taps etc...  Just for the heck of it, try taking a pair of pliers and screw driver to your wash-room & see how simple it is to fix a blocked shower or a choked tap. I even went to the extent of installing our gas-geyser on my own, when the technician quoted Rs.2000/- for installation & the necessary hoses. All I had to do was walk to the neighbouring hardware shop for the best quality heat resistant hose. Making connections was cake-walk once you figure out what hose goes where.

The other day the flush on our toilet cistern got jammed. I only had to remove the lid to realize that the system beneath is so very simple. Once opened, it hardly took five minutes to rectify the problem. Similarly, you can set right most of the troubles coming from your bicycle.

I never allow our security guard of our apartment to wash the car. When I get into washing of the car, I have a feel of what’s right & what’s not – thus keeping me updated on the task at hand.  Same is the case with house-keeping at home.

There are hundreds of such minor things popping up all the time. Wise is the one who searches for the solution within, gives vent for the engineer in you to pour out and then take stock of the situation. Mind it, there is an engineer in every one of us. Do we really need a formal certificate to make it active?

Ricksha(w)oes

The Oxford dictionary defines auto rickshaw as a motorized, three-wheeled rickshaw for public hire.  A more apt and elaborate definition would be a pod-like commuter vehicle which snakes its way through mess & melee, looting the passengers all along.

You can’t miss them. They are omnipresent & crying for attention while at it. Take for example your daily commuting in the city. Atleast a quarter of the time you are behind an auto rickshaw. This is the time when you have to be more cautious than crossing the busiest road of the city. The following things can happen when you are least expecting it:

-       If you are following a slow rickshaw, don’t conclude that the driver is conscious of the speed limits; it only means the auto is empty - even a vulture is slow which searching for its prey.

-       The cruising rickshaw can come to a sudden halt on spotting a prospective client.

-       The rickshaw can turn in any direction without giving you any notice. Please do not wait for the indicators to warn you; they are rudimentary.

Let’s assume you just arrived in a city by bus early in the morning. Ever wondered how the passengers in the bus get distributed among the countless rickshaws waiting outside? As you are getting down there are atleast four rickshaw drivers peering through the exit door. You can hear them bidding for you like the IPL team owners: “Black T shirt is mine..”, “Bald uncle in mine..” “Red bag aunty for me..”. By the time you get down you are already “bought” by a particular driver.

Now you start the negotiation. The driver is very courteous in carrying your luggage upto his rickshaw. In the 30 seconds taken to reach his vehicle, he has made a full assessment of your background: are you a newcomer in the town, would you be the naïve kind or would you argue, how much can you afford..

The conversation which follows is something like this:

“Where to?”

“XYZ”

“Where in XYZ”, this is to check if you know the place & the distance. If you falter here, then he has earned 2 points & you are at zero.

“Near ABC”

“Is it near DEF behind ABC?” This is to gauge if the landmark you mentioned is actually known to you or not.

“I’ll show you the way,” is the best answer you can give, so as to save your skin & your money. Any other reply and you are sure to be taken on a ride.

You get into the auto & he immediately pushes off.

“Why is the meter not on?” you ask innocently.

“Meter is not working, sir”. You have to appreciate the unity among drivers. In the morning hours, none of the meters work! Even if it works (which is the rarest of the rare cases), they will ask you one & half times the meter.

“Why one & half?”, you will ask if you are aware of ‘one & half timings’.

The replies can be any one of the following:

-       “Sir, I have been waiting all night”.

-       “Sir, I have to come back here empty.”

-       “New rates not updated in the meter”

Finally you agree for some amount, assuming you have clinched a good deal. Only once I tried to play it a bit longer. I opened Google maps on my phone & showed him the exact distance & then multiplied by the per kilometer cost. The driver grumbled something about one-way and I realized I’m not heading anywhere with my street-smart act.

You will also notice one more thing. Most autos fill gas only when they are engaged. I have never been able to figure out what is the benefit they get by keeping us with them for 5 more minutes. Throughout the rickshaw ride, (something similar to a roller coaster ride, only difference being here you know you are not in a safe & secure environment) all you can enjoy is the extra-loud music of local super-hits and the poster of the local heroines in the sides.

All the above is more or less common in all cities with extent of severity varying from the least in Mumbai (one of the best for hassle-free auto commuting) to the worst in Chennai. I have never travelled with a meter on in Chennai. The drivers are not interested in short rides even if you are ready to pay Rs.50 for 2 kms. They don’t care a damn about idling, as long as the margins are not absurdly high. Three out of five auto rides have come with the complimentary fuel station tour. None of the auto drivers even want to try talking any other language but Tamil.

One more face of autos you will see is the with school going kids packed in. The kids are so stuffed inside that you begin to wonder if the auto has capabilities to compress its contents, simultaneously hanging the school bags & lunch bags dangerously onto rear view mirrors.

All said and done, you cannot do away with rickshaws – they are your first “friends” and only saviors when you go to a new city.

K(NO)w ur LIMITS

Yes, I have been regularly working-out for over 4 months now; cycling, swimming, treadmill or yoga. I started all this so as to reduce that little extra flab on the waist, more importantly because I was having too much of access to delicious food & delicious food has always been my weakness.

Gradually it became a routine. I stopped giving myself reasons like “today I’m on tour, I can’t work-out”, “its too cold outside, the warm bed is too good to leave”, “let me cuddle with wife darling for some more time”, “It was late when I slept yesterday; I deserve some more rest”..

Once on, nothing could stop me: not the cold misty mornings, ice cold water of the swimming pool, wife going for a jog in the morning (we have a kid to take care of)... Somehow I could manage one of the four options.

And no, I did not have to go any extra mile for accomplishing any of the above: I did not enrol into any gym or club, I went swimming at hotel where I stayed. If there was no pool, I’d go to the gym there. If there was no gym I’d practice yoga. I did not join any expensive yoga class, I downloaded Shilpa Shetty’s yoga for free. (Some of my colleagues still doubt that they can practice yoga watching Shilpa & her curves). I did not buy a sports cycle, I used the normal cycle which we got so that we could take our kid for a fun ride.

All I had to invest was that extra bit of interest to stick to the regime. And it was not difficult ‘ços I started loving it – the fresh morning air, the cool water, the well sculpted Shilpa, loud music on the ipod..

Well, I’m not the kind of person who dresses up for occasions or is bothered by the way I look. I’m exactly opposite to my wife or any lady for that matter in this regard. But last week after a shower when I stood naked before the bathroom mirror, I somehow liked the looks - the ups & downs of my physique were becoming admirable. I had also noticed that I could do the padahasthasana (standing erect & then bending forward to touch your toes) with ease & for a long duration at that.

So I decided to try the yogamudra (sitting in padmasama – cross legged – with your hands clasped behind your back & bending forward so that your forehead touches the ground), which I, till then, believed justifies the definition of yoga to be twisting your body into impossible postures. But then I could accomplish it that day!

Today, as my cycle was borrowed by my wife’s friend, I had to settle for a jog. I could have gone ahead with yoga, but of late I had developed the thrill in fighting the winter morning chill with my sweat. That followed by a cold shower was like enlightenment. I had read somewhere that yogi’s in Himalayas took cold showers – it supposingly develops their mental strength. And I’m more obsessed with the mind than the body. So…

I did not have any particular target in mind. When I’m on the treadmill, I generally do 3 km in 30 min, after touching a high of 12 kmph for a while. That makes me totally wet. But today I just went on & on. Not that I was in a good mood, neither was I totally rested – I had slept only 3 hrs the previous night & got up to honor my 0600 hrs commitment. Although the air was freezing when I stepped out of the house, within 30 min I was sweating. The sweat was pouring into my eyes causing irritation.

Strangely I didn’t hit the wall (Wall is a term used in marathon for the feeling that you can’t go any further). My thighs threatened to get cramped. But I regulated the pace & advised them otherwise. And they obliged…

When I finally reached my apartment I had clocked almost 10 kms! That is my personal best! I climbed to the terrace & stretched for 15 min to make sure there were no cramps. Within 75 min I was back home for the refreshing cold shower. One hour later I was out for office.

So guys, there’s no miracle to it. It only takes a little bit of fine tuning inside your skull. “Exercise is beyond me” is only a self-created hurdle in your mind. Like all those dumb people who believe liquor is the only means of happiness. Pity, they have to get out of their senses to experience happiness. Likewise, pity if you couldn't trigger the spark in you..

Are you corporatized?

They are everywhere.

You can see them pouring over their BlackBerrys while anxiously waiting to board the flight at airports. You can see them talking on phone while driving through snail paced traffic. You can see them in shopping malls over the weekends, trying to spend as much as possible within the two days that they are unleashed. The elements of the corporate world are omnipresent in today’s Tier 1 cities.

And the numbers are on the rise. As more and more companies are formed, as more and more multi-nationals are pouring in, not wanting to be left out of the race to second fastest growing economy, more and more citizens are getting corporatized.

For a layman (the non-corporate, so to say) or for those who have spilled over to the Generation Next, they all look swell: Clad in neat business attire, up-to-date on EVERYTHING (literally) thanks to the smartphones & notepads, driving swanky cars, flaunting multiple girlfriends, shopping only in posh malls, relishing continental cuisine, living in a gated community… Yes, the standard of living has definitely improved with the coming of corporate culture.

Let’s scratch the surface & peek beneath the shell, into the daily drudge of a typical corporate employee. We’ll take it in steps – the steps a person goes through during his stint with the corporates:

Entry

Recruitment can happen in 2 ways: through campus or lateral. Campus recruits have pretty much nothing to say as they are fresh, innocent are unwary of the crooked ways of the corporate world. Brimming with excitement, they generally get into the first company that comes their way.

As for the laterals, they are a bit well off – knowing the tricks of the trade, where to squeeze, where to bend…  the two hours grind with the interview panel puts a price tag on you – the CTC. Now this is a very tricky term. Something similar to buying your computer – you got to be sure what’s in & what’s not, cos a lot depends on what level you enter the organization.

Induction

Once in, there is no turning back- at least for some time. The induction programme paints the rosiest picture possible for your eyes, preparing you to get into the system with full josh & vigour. You come out of it thinking “Man! I should be lucky to be in here.”

The realization

The initial days are fine. You are trying to learn new things, meeting new people.. It’s all exciting.

Gradually the unseen dawns upon you. You felt that systems were working with clock-work precision, suddenly you realise “is there a system?” You are planning lot of family expeditions. But you realize that you are visiting home just for a quick nap. You don’t realize when that fat pay package which lured you into the company suddenly shrunk. You also begin to realize that the petty bribe you used to shell out at government offices, transport department or the traffic cops are almost legal compared to the large scale of sops offered to clients in order to bag orders.

However, thanks to the inherent zeal (or more often the whip of top management) you give your 100% to the company drowning into the torrents of targets, deadlines, market-shares, bottom-lines, review-meets…

Increment & promotion

If Sidhu were to describe promotion it’d go something like this: “Promotions are like Indian rains. You always keep expecting it, but it always fails you.”

Note: In corporate world, it’s not hard work that takes you to the top. It’s how many of your superiors have you successfully patafied. Hard work you put in throughout the year is long forgotten. Yes sir! A god father is invariably necessary if you have to ensure that you get your due credit.

Same is the case with increments. While handing over your increment letter, your boss always says, “Congratulations! You have got the highest increment in the group.” You are flying high until you share the good news with your peers & all of them say “Well, that’s what even I was told..”

The exit

How long you can endure this melee depends on various factors: how patient you are, how indifferent you can be to the downsides, how much has spiritualism inspired you (Yes! Most of the corporates eventually resort to yoga & spiritualism to find solace).

Anyways, at some point of time the steam blows off & you decide “That’s it. I can take it no more. Time to say good bye”. You draft a resignation letter, which begins with “Due to unavoidable circumstances…”, & silently place it on your boss’s table. 

This simple act triggers a series of actions aimed at convincing you that you are doing the greatest blunder of your life. You are suddenly shot into the limelight. People who never knew you existed become highly interested you. Tall promises are made. Out of the blue it becomes necessary that you attend a training programme abroad…

The outcome depends on the combination of how effective they were & how vulnerable you were. Whatever follows, you start over the same or similar journey…  Yet again.

Of course there can be exceptions: there are corporates people die to work for. There are people who spend their entire career with one corporate. There are companies who really understand “all work & no play makes Jack a dull boy”. But if we again get into Sidhuism, we may come up with a line like: Such things are like mirages in a desert. You feel that it’s there, but you’ll never find it.

                Survival tactics in the corporate world:

-          CTC (cost to company) has different meanings in different companies. Be extremely cautious while deciphering the term.

-          Always talk what others want to hear; not what you want to say.

-          Great knowledge & hard work does not catapult you to the top. A godfather is invariably necessary, if you want to see growth greater than the Hindu growth rate

-          If you found a clean deal in the corporate world, you have not probed deep enough.

-          It’s not the work you do that matters, but making others think how much you are working. Never stray from your computer. If not anything, just keep playing Solitaire (That’s what most people do anyways)

-          Resignation is the simplest way to gain lime-light, promotion or a pay hike.